Friday, September 28, 2012

Holy Moly

Holy moly. How to sum up the past 5.5 weeks in a blog post. Definitely impossible, but I'll try.

This has been both the best and most terrifying time of my life. Ford is absolutely perfect and I cannot believe what a daunting task it is to keep him that way. The first two weeks were an absolute blur. Every move I made, I questioned. Was I buckling him right in the car seat? Did I lay him down right? Did I toggle the diaper too tight? Was I feeding him too little? too much? I was 99% certain the answer to all of these questions was a 'No'. When we walked outside, I was concerned it was too hot, too loud, too polluted, too filled with crazy drivers. When we were inside, I was concerned the air was on too high, I had the swaddle too close to his face, I wasn't holding him enough. I am usually a somewhat stable, rational person (Brad is chuckling reading this I'm sure), but this little babe put me over the edge. The whole feeding thing did not go nearly as I planned as well (that's what I get for planning)! I worked through every breastfeeding 'troubleshoot' in the book.  After many tears, doctor and lac consultant visits, discussions with B Sr., and anxious phone calls to my mom and friends with babies, we made the decision to switch to formula this week.  Nursing can be really, really hard for some and a piece of cake for others. I just want to put that out there, because so few people really talk about how tough it can be. What I have learned is that in the end, you have to do what is right for you and your baby.And friends, if it's hard for you when you get on this baby train someday (soon please) and you want to talk about it, please know I'm happy to listen and share way too many details of my own experience.

I am so full of love right now for this little boy, I contemplated not even writing about the tough stuff that was a part of the first month, but, I also think it should be said that it's not all rainbows and butterflies every second.  BUT.  I would also do it all over in a heartbeat and 100 times over to be with this little miracle. I am so in awe of Ford and I tear up just thinking about him when he's just in the next room over sleeping peacefully (jinx!). All the cliches of being a mother have taken on new meaning. I would and will do anything in the world for him. Yep. I love him to the moon and back. I get just how much that is now. I would give my life for him without thinking twice. Duh.

A few other random, bulleted thoughts, and then hopefully this will get me back to posting more often than once every few months. I'll do a separate Ford-specifc update too sometime soon, but I know you've been getting a healthy dose of pics from me via every other social media outlet :)
  • If you are a new mom, do not, I repeat, do not, google ANY of your 100001 baby questions. What you will find is a million different answers, most completely contradictory. Once you decide on one, then you'll get virtually 'yelled at' on some random message board from 2010 for the decision you just made. It's absurd and will drive you mad. My suggestion is that you ask your doctor and your mom and your gut, and then go with what you feel is best. This applies to pretty much everything from diaper cream brands to getting on a plane with your 6 week old (gasp!).
  • I will never appreciate electricity and air conditioning like I do now that I've spent a night without it with a baby. Think 80+ degree nights and changing a poopy diaper IN THE DARK. 
  • As everyone knows, I am fully aware that I have ridiculously amazing parents, but I have a new level of respect after this past month. I also don't think I could have made it through the first few weeks without my mom here. She talked me down off the ledge a number of times, listened to me cry for weeks about breastfeeding, got me out of the house and into the world of the living probably weeks before I would have on my own, and would get Ford back to sleep either in a split second (Baby Whisperer) or sit up with him when he was cranky so we could get some sleep.  She and my dad also took care of Baby Ford so Brad and I could have our first date night. I am forever indebted and in awe of you. Thank you.

On cue, I hear Ford making his elephant-like, waking up noises. The cutest. Tootaloo.


  1. You are so right Lauren!! It is not all a cake walk. Lots of trial and error. Lots of long days and nights, especially in the beginning trying to figure it all out. You do have to do what's best for you, and you're doing an amazing job!! Wish we lived closer to share more on the daily details. What I think is really hard is how you get one stage down pat and into a routine, then they CHANGE and the cycle of trial and error begins again. Each stage has it's own challenges and blessings. Oh and I hear ya on the power outage!! We experienced the same thing! Talk about a crazy night!!

  2. I cannot tell you enough how much I can relate to this post! I went through the same troubles breastfeeding and recently switched to formula. This post is beautifully written - Thank you for sharing!