Thursday, February 23, 2012

Embarrasing story of the week for your reading pleasure:

Yesterday morning I was getting ready for an off site meeting of all the campus recruiters of the various banks in Singapore. Naturally, I wanted to look somewhat cute and less shleppy than my normal look of late. I decided to squeeze myself into a tight black dress and embrace the bump.

Everything was going well. I was feeling a bit snug but it was manageable. After the meeting the team went to lunch. I had my new usual- spaghetti.  Japanese restaurants surprisingly make a mean spaghetti. Anyways.  Afterwards, we are walking to the taxi queue and I realize that my dress has gotten substantially tighter. Like to the point that I'm only able to manage shallow breaths. By the time we actually get in the cab, I have broken out in a cold sweat and am starting to feel like one does when they're trapped in an elevator with 20 not small people.  Two minutes into the cab ride, I realize there is no way in hell I'm going to make it through the day in this dress. But I have meetings in the afternoon that I really can't miss. I contemplate faking sick and going home and changing. The problem is though, that then my team is going to see me show up again in a different outfit and probably have gross images of what happened to me. So. I look at them (all childless/unmarried men mind you) and say. "My dress is so tight I can't breathe. I'm going home to change and will be back in an hour. Don't say a word." 

To make matters none the better, I have to call Brad out of a meeting to get the car key. By the time I GET to the car I am about to rip the damned dress off. When I get IN the car, I realize I am wearing the one dress that I can't zip/unzip myself. So there I am in the the parking garage stretching every which way and cussing up a storm trying to free myself from my new found hell. Finally, I manage to fanagle it and life is good and happy again.

That is until I realize that I'm going to have to walk into my building with my dress completely unzipped down the back. I pray I won't see anyone. No such luck. A nice American woman who I was hoping to make friends with at some point is in the lobby and I see her do a double take. I just shrug, standing there barebacked, waiting for lift. Lordy be.

2 comments:

  1. Hilarious. I had to read and reread and just kept laughing, seeing you trying to unzip it. Guess you won't be wearing that dress again anytime soon. Great blog.

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  2. i just saw this for the first time and I am laughing so hard I am crying. I couldn't even get through it, I was laughing so hard. The images I had of you were priceless!

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